UPDATED 30th March: Lockdown Easing, I'm worrying
Since the Covid-19 situation started, my mental health has been all over the place, a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Now that things are looking like they are easing I am scared, frightened to be mixing with people. The friend I am in a bubble has noticed that I have changed.
I am not sure I can mix with people again, my mind is not up to it, I am not sure I know how to properly anymore. As daft as it sounds, I think being social for me is out of the question. I am scared to be social in person with people out in the world.
Scared I will catch something, scared I can't get on any more, scared I can't live life again.
I feel like I will be trapped in my mind when everyone else is venturing out in to the wide world to live again.
I have breathing issues, blood pressure problems and depression, all of which Covid has impacted and amplified. Attempting to go to shops to get fresh produce that I really like to choose my self has led to shortness of breath and panic attacks and also episodes of feeling sick and sickness.
It is not a good place to be in living with myself. I love my friends and love to hug them and spend time with them all. I know however that in my current mindset just thinking of seeing anyone is making me worry and panic.
And to add to my depression and anxiety, there is anger and dismay.... this is just shocking, why.... just why?
My faith in humanity has taken a massive hit thanks to idiots not following Covid rules, things like this just make it worse. I don't feel I can integrate back in to the social life 😭