Philip (Phil) England

  I'm feeling fed up. My health is really getting to me big time. My fortnightly injection seems to not be as efficiant as it used to be, my medication seems to be less good at doing what it should be doing. Now I know I can't be put on anything stronger as my stomach wont be able to deal with it... damn having a fragile one! I decided at the start of the new year to keep pushing to find a job to do. Now I know I am limited, but do know what I am good at.  I have been looking for social media roles, because I know I am good at that, and back during the pandemic did an online course on it that I passed. I am also looking for radio and tv work, as I have experiance of both, and again during the pandemic, did a basic online journalism course. I keep getting knocked back, and know the reason why. It's not because of lack of skills or determination, it is the fact I have health issues and companies would rather take on someone who is fully able bodied and fit.  This makes me so

My first ever book is out! MY LIFE IN BLOG FORM Welcome to my first ever book, it contains a number of my blogs, and some added extra bits from other social media outlets of mine. It follows my life since the first lockdown and focuses on my life. I do like cooking, and enjoy watching Saturday Kitchen as well as other shows! A cut of profits from the sale of each book will go to a Fibromyalgia charity, so please do buy a copy, either physical or electronic. It's on Amazon right now at this address https://amzn.eu/d/7C9NgbS It's in paperback or for kindle

27th Jan Covid has scared me in to online shopping, I've not been able to see friends I love, not been able to cuddle or hug friends. I know friends who haven't had their jabs and am constantly worrying about them, I've lost a few dear friends too, just last week two funerals on one day, I couldn't go due to numbers and my health, my heart felt like it was being pulled two ways. I need to hug people, I need to see friends, I need to be happy, right now I feel fed up, stressed out, pissed off with everything, life seems right now to be a big pile of crap. 30th Jan The last few days have been awful, been in agony, also have had to put drops in my left eye and keep it covered up. I've spent most of the time in bed, in and out of sleep. 1st Feb So the start of a new month, nothing changes. Woke up with neck in agony and most of the upper part of my back. Feeling sick with the pain. My mood is really low right now, feel so depressed and useless. I want my lif

Since the Covid-19 situation started, my mental health has been all over the place, a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Now that things are looking like they are easing I am scared, frightened to be mixing with people. The friend I am in a bubble has noticed that I have changed. I am not sure I can mix with people again, my mind is not up to it, I am not sure I know how to properly anymore.  As daft as it sounds, I think being social for me is out of the question. I am scared to be social in person with people out in the world. Scared I will catch something, scared I can't get on any more, scared I can't live life again. I feel like I will be trapped in my mind when everyone else is venturing out in to the wide world to live again. I have breathing issues, blood pressure problems and depression, all of which Covid has impacted and amplified. Attempting to go to shops to get fresh produce that I really like to choose my self has led to shortness of breath and panic attacks

I was standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, with my walking stick in hand, looking out the window, I had a feeling of emptiness as I stood. I made my tea, went out in to the hall, cuppa in hand, sat on the sofa feeling down, until Smokie jumped up and meowed at me then started purring - bless him. I have a friend, Su, who has lost her cat Minnie. Seems she may have wandered off, but I have noticed a number of black cats that have gone missing lately around Swansea. I have been talking to Smokie, and thinking. I do think Smokie needs to be with her. At Su's Smokie can go outside to frolic in the 🌞 sun and be company for her.  While it pains me to have to give him up, I feel it will be best for him in the long run. He has his toys and his boxes what would go with him, with familiar smells on them, I could still spoil him lots.  I think I need a dog so I have a reason for going out and get gentle exercise. I have tried twice to put Smokie on a harness, wasn't a

I have been living with mental health issues for too many years to remember. A few years ago I was put on anti depressants at a low dose, which helped. Back in March last year when the whole UK was thrown in to lockdown it felt like the end for me. I was cut off from all my friends I had relied on for support, both mental and physical. With various measures in place in Wales, things started to play on my mind. With a stubborn Father, who kept going out for long drives to goodness knows where, my mental anguish and state of mind really took a wallop.  I was on the verge of a mental meltdown. I found myself crying on the phone to my sister. She phoned our Father, who then phoned me. I pleaded with him to stay close to home, and travel no further than 5 miles away, which when I told him about my mental state of mind, he was happy to do. Shortly after this, my medication us increased, which was something I didn't really want, but knew it was needed. Living with mental health is one thi