Not done much to start the year. Not really moved forward with any of my big plans as of yet.
Been in agony with my back, partly thanks to the damp weather, it seems to affect my condition, amplifying the aches and pains I already have. It really gets me down, and traps me inside even more. Looking out in to the gloomy weather, having to put the heating on and lights so I can see what I am doing. I really hate it.
I know the injections I am on are only to stop the condition worsening, and I think they are actually doing their job. I just wish the condition was diagnosed sooner, and then maybe I wouldn’t be how I am now, and be more able to do things.
I wish I could wake up in the mornings and be able to get out of bed to at least try to get on with the day. It is really getting to me. My mental state is wrong, it shouldn’t be like this. I seem to get upset and pissed off when I can’t get things done.
Having to walk with a stick isn’t helping me one bit. One thing that has helped a little, I decided to buy a walking stick, the one I was using was very NHS looking, so got one from a shop, which looks a bit better, so I am not as self conscious.
I do want to get out to Gran Canaria for another week to see my friend out there. Emotionally the journey is exhausting; have to cope with the crowds and the confined space on the plane and the coach to the airport. The weather out there really helped last time, the heat and warmth of the sun felt really good, why don’t we get that kind of weather in the UK?, why do we get damp or humid or cold?