October 2025

 1st: 1:45am - My stomach feels like its on a spin cycle, my head is running a marathon and I can't seem to sleep 😩

Later - managed to get to Dad's house, its getting harder to go there, need to go back to do last few bits, but a break is needed.

2nd: Feel like I've been running after my mind all night, exhausted, and woke up crying.

My back and neck killing me. I feel like shit this morning. 😭

Edit - I need to get out of bed for my meds, and just discovered my right hip hurts too 😩

Finally.out of bed at around 11am, achy and my mind elsewhere.

Been asked to decide on insurance cover for my father's house for the period going forward, how on earth can I even think about that in my mind state? I feel like going back to bed 😥 feel like 🤯

3rd: Day of Dad's funeral - Not too sure how I will get through today. Got a thumping headache and I feel sick again, neck and shoulders in agony and left hip too. 
My sister worked wonders for after the funeral, and I want to tgank her and my brother in law, as well as the kids and everyone that came to the funeral and the after part too.

My internet went off ... thanks to storm Amy.

4th: Managed to sleep. Not feeling too good, bit worse than I was after waking up though for reasons I won't put up.

5th: Hello fibro, where have you been this past month?, hells bells, nice to feel you fibro pain volume at maximum, but can you turn down to about say 7 or 8 from the current full on 10?

6th: Well I'm up, could have done with mire time in bed, bit busy this week, bit achy too.

Flu jab booked for next week. Now to phone solicitor 🙈.

EDIT: The phone appointment was good, seems emotional pain and physical pain happens in the same section of the brain, interesting to know. They are happy I'm managing my gabapentin ok, seems I can up the morning and night dose if it if I miss the daytime one, which I seem to do so .

They will leave the appointment open for me.

7th: Achy today but things to do, chemist to go to and the house too. Had a bit of a breathing issue earlier - think I'm ok now, back killing me though.

8th: Feeling sick again this morning, very achy again too. Last day in the house today. After today that is it, unless I need to go down to let anyone in. A little more time in bed first before I get up and sorted.

Another boot load to take in, but more or less done, can't keep going back there, its doing my head in, and kessing with my emotions big time.

Edit: Just aggravated my back getting stuff in from the car 😭, I will never learn will I?

9th: My back is in agony following yesterday's problem, when I aggravated it - need to get out of bed, as I've got Nero today, but not sure how 😥

Edit: Well managed it, and I'm out of bed, moving in slow motion, and realised I have not been given enough 300mg gabapentin to last a month 😩

Edit: I couldn't get down the stairs of my block today, did try, and now I feel fibro twinges 😩

10th: In total agony, fibro flare up, pain all over, can even hear it in my head. Shoulders and back feel itchy and tender too. Not a good start to the day at all.

Edit: attempting to get out of bed, not going too well, need to pop to the shop somehow, need some fresh things which I like to choose for myself. It's one of the joys of had having a grocer as a father. In the past he owned a fruit & veg shop and also a general store.

11th: Been on a morning walk, discovered a path I never knew was there, but was hoping was. Met some horses in a few spots, made new horse friends, my mood feels elevated. Bit achy but it was worth the efford.

12th: Been achy this morning, not seen horses yet, hope to later though, need to pop to Dad's house and get back for parcel, and put my recycling out too. Hope my aches improve.

13th: Didn't sleep too good last night, feel more exhausted now than when I went to bed. At some point today need to have some time with animals (horses, dogs, cats or what ever) I feel animals boost me mentally.

A bit achy, neck killing and left hip playing up.

14th: Very achy, but flu jab to head out for, then back home and more snooze time.

Edit: Had flu jab, think she was a javelin player.... Sharp scratch.... Owch 😩

Edit: arm killing as I head to bed at 9:20pm.

15th: Very achy today, had a letter and info on memorials from Llanelli crematorium, just as I was starting to come to terms with Dad's passing. Was in bed by 9pm.

16th: Didn't sleep too good last night, tossing and turning all night, feel exhausted, hips playing up, and back too. 

Got Nero today, may end up sleeping later.

Was in bed by 8:30pm.

17th: Bloods this morning at 8:10, left arm already aching in anticipation it seems. It's a fasting blood test so the earlier the better!

Neck is killing this morning along with top of back and shoulders too.

Edit: right arm really killing now 😩 managed to get some things done this morning, feeling drained now though.

18th: Damn Fibromyalgia 😩 Achy and sick, skin is very tingly, and brightness is giving me headache (phone brightness turned right down). Been on the sofa most of the day with heating pad on.

19th: Didn't sleep too good, right hip and lower back hurting, and neck too. Feeling a bit sick again too. Need to pop to Dad's house today and also a shop. Not going to be an easy day.

Edit: Well went to the house, rescued a few things.

Saw this picture on line:

20th: I should get up and sorted, things to do today. Feel achy to my core, think I slept a few hours. Well managed to get up, took a while though.

21st: Damn it, need to get up, but my right hip and lower back are hurting so much, I'm getting shooting pains 😩.

What gives? the period between Dad goung in to hospital and funeral it was like my physical pain went.... it sure is back with gusto.

Edit: It took a while this morning, about 3 hours, even then it's not been a good day, heating pad on.

Been a bad day, in bed most of it, feeling really low.

22nd: It's just after 12:30am - I can't turn my mind off again, feeling low again too 😩

Nothing for it, I may need to turn to grief counselling, but am wondering it may be too soon, I tried about a month after Mum's funeral, but that didn't help.

I also know I have Dad's ashes to pick up yet too. Not looking forward to doing that.

I feel sick now - damn it 😭.

7:40am: Feeling decidedly drained, thumping headache, also back killing me. Must get up, got things I must get done... not sure how.

23rd: A bit achy, didn't sleep much, but not too bad a day 

24th: Achy this morning, nothing too bad, sun is out but it is a bit chilly, extra layer on, no need for heating on, maybe heating blanket later. If you don't have one, get an electric over blanket, some energy providers offer these free if you meet certain conditions, OVO does and I got one, so worth checking.

25th: Not done much today, lazy day under electric blanket, then in bed early. Bit achy.

26th: Very achy this morning, bed looks like a tornado blew through. I was tidying up my bed earlier and tripped and did my back a mischief.... in agony now, I'll never learn will I?

Need to get my recycling put out, which won't be easy.

27th: Knee popping, right hip hurts and back too... just another regular day for me then. My body is nothing but consistent.

Not feeling too good this evening, feeling sick, a bit shivery and very achy.

Pain been through the roof this evening, just been sick with it.

28th: 2:40am - I felt twinges earlier in the night, now pain is at full volume..... damn fibromyalgia flare up 😩.

8:45am - well after two gabapentin and two paracetamol still in pain, but what can you do when you just have to get up and try to get on with the day?

6:40pm - been fighting pain all day, glad to get home, was good to catch up with Simon and Annmarie. Sometimes you.just have to push through.

29th: Neck is killing, shoulders aching and tender to the touch, hips hurt as well, feeling sick too and as yet can't get out of bed. Just another day in my life.

If I did find a job, how would I get in to start it? that's the government plan. Talking to a friend yesterday, he's not better off, he's worse off, his work doesn't pay, far from it.

30th: Woke up feeling sick, and in agony, and it's only 2:30 😩 also feeling cold, yet electric blanket is on.

9am - Not feeling good this morning, staying in bed for as long as I can. Feel weak, cold and generally achy.

10:45am: Well I'm out of bed, on the sofa, heating pad and electric over blanket on - nice and cozy, watching tv. Don't think I will get anything done today, hope to make the bed, it's a mess, need to work up to it.

31st: General aches and pains today, nothing too bad, feel tured though